I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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