its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
