that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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