Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
