lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
