after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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