do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
