Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
