So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
only if we run a train.
done.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
