everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
