For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
