I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
