Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
