You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
