We named our party play list daddy issues
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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