I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
