My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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