if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
