dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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