On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
