We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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