The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
