I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
