Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
