I'm going to jail i love you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
