You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
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You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
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So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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