Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Come on in and take your pants off
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