As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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