I wanna bring you to show and tell
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
