then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
