he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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