Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
