so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
