R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I still have a little drunk in my system
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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