6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
