Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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