I will die if light touches me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
