come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
