I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
splinters make it hard to masturbate
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
