Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
