I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
