I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish i was in the wii world.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
