this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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