She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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