His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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