so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
