did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
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I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
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and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize