every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
