the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
