Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
