Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You were trust falling into bushes
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
