too bad you live with your parents still
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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