I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
