Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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