oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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