i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
