I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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