I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
