I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you didnt know i had herpes?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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