i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
