New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I love having hate sex.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I had to cum in my sink.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize