i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
