What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize