To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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