My room smells like vodka and shame
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
