before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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